(From our March 2016 trip)

Today another life long dream was to be fulfilled and it’s so bloody exciting you guys.  This delightful Disney Princess was finally going home to her castle.  What, you didn’t know I was a princess and that I had a castle?  Oh you poor misinformed souls.  Of course I do, obvs…. Pfffttttt.  Read on….

So up bright and early again to get ready for tour number 2,783 of this holiday and husband decides he’s had enough.  He’s out….he can’t even….he can’t be arsed…..all chill has been lost.  He’s tapping out my friends.

Now, those who know me well would think this is the bit where I launch into a bitch-splosion the likes that has never been seen but that was 3 Lisa’s ago, I mean 3 trips ago.  I’ve since learned there is always a day on each trip where the douche-lord himself decides he’s just not gonna (like the day in Paris when we were going to Versaille – he just refused).  So as not to make him think I didn’t give a fuzzy rats arse if he came or not, I did the old “are you really gonna let little ol’ me catch a train across the country all on my ownsome, who will keep me safe, yadda yadda yadda”.  I wasn’t fooling anyone because honestly I’m the one who drives these trips down to the minutest detail and I don’t need company so he stayed behind to “shop” can you efffing believe that and I began the journey home to my castle.

After much toing and froing I decided on Radius Tours for this trip.  Again off to the train station where I met the guide Ian who seemed nice enough.  There was one very large annoying American family on the trip that made me want to blow my brains out.  I love and adore Americans, have many American friends, love their country, love their cute little ways, love their food – however there are some brands of US peeps that really don’t work well outside of their own country.  They are too loud, too in your face, too everything.  This was one of those families…..no lowering of voices on a crowded train, no anything normal.  By the time we arrived in Fussen the little village at the base of the hill the castle is built on – I knew everyone in the family’s name, blood type, bra size and sexual orientation.  I always promise myself I won’t throat punch people when I leave the house and then this happens and I have regrets ::quietly sobs::

The only saving grace for the train trip was the absolutely magnificent scenery along the way, completely breathtaking…..(excuse the craptastic through the train window shots)

To pass the time on the train I made friends with a lovely 19 yr old Russian girl who now lives in Poland, but studying in Munich for a semester who will finish her degree this year, then do her masters and be done and dusted by 22.  Oh and did I mention she can speak 5 languages fluently and wants to learn 2 more.  Bloody lazy underachiever.  If you think I was intimidated by her education and achievements you’d be wrong.  I mean can she chug a bottle of bubbles in 2 minutes….I think not.  Can she do 37 Tim Tam Slams in a row before starting to vom….no she can’t.   You get the picture, this chick got nothing on me, guys!  I refuse to believe this girl could possibly have any friends so I thought I’d throw her a bone and allow her to experience LK Cool for the duration of the trip.

The village of Fussen is the most quaint little place, all the buildings have that really sweet Bavarian feel and it was nice for a little wander and then a quick bite to eat before starting the climb.

The climb up to the castle was quite steep and around a 30 minute hike but I powered up like you wouldn’t believe because I like to win shit.  I’m not really one to brag….but I won!!!!   So essentially I win LIFE today!!!!  I totally did the Rocky dance at the top of course (that last bit was a joke) (possibly…)

Get ready for a teeny bit of learnin’ my friends – I promise it won’t hurt a bit……

Once upon a time in a faraway land there lived a crazy King called Ludwig II.  He decided he wanted to build a big arse castle on top of a big arse rocky hill in the Bavarian Alps.  So he did what any mad King would do and he did it, he built that majestic damn thing.  Boring fact 1. Built in 1868.  Boring Fact 2. The king died mysteriously before it was finished.  Boring Fact 3. It is one of the most visited tourist attractions in Germany with approx.. 1.3 mill peeps each year.

Fortunately for us as soon as crazy Ludwig was dead they opened the castle to the public which is when the absolute best thing happened – the real king, Mr. Walt Disney, took his wifey there for a holiday and he was sooooo in love with what he saw it inspired him to build the beautiful Sleeping Beauty Castle at Disneyland based on Neuschwanstein Castle and the rest is Disney awesome history my loves.  So of course as any self respecting Disney Princess must, I came to inspect my palace.

Now there is no doubt the Castle is magnificent, it truly is – however most of the pictures I love of it are when it is snow covered and I have to say it does lose a little something special without it.  I think snow makes everything look more amazing for some reason and I felt the castle was a little less spectacular than I thought it would be.  I walked around the whole thing, did the inside tour, enjoyed the architecture of the place and obvs took a bazillion piccies.

I think maybe it lost a little excitement for me because I was on my own.  Things lose a little magic if you don’t have someone there to share it with I’ve discovered.  It doesn’t have to be my husband because lord knows he’s an anus-butt most of the time but it does need to be with someone I care about.  Shared experiences are what it’s all about for me.  Wait..what just happened, did I just get all emo on you.  Twatting hell, sorry about that folks.

Anyway, the Princess came to the Castle, she saw the Castle, she’s glad she did it and now she can go home.

All too soon we were back on the train headed home to Munich.  It was a smooth ride and I thoroughly enjoyed eavesdropping on a bunch of very naughty French teenagers trying to pick up chicks.  It reminded me of my smelly teen and his mates, although I believe the French accents gave them a bit of a headstart with the ladies lol.

Husband missed me so much he met me at the train station.  I asked how his day of shopping went and he said terribly and he didn’t buy one thing.  I’m not proud but I was secretly happy he had a shitty day bahahaha.  You can suck it Craig!

Last dinner in Munich so you gotta know where we went and what we had – yeppers back for some more Pork Knuckle gastro goodness at Haxnbauer.  I stuffed my face again and have zero regrets.

As our visit to Munich comes to a close I can honestly tell you that we have fallen in love with this city and Germany in general and we cannot wait to be back and explore some more.  There’s something about this place that feels really good and I want to see more.  So stay tuned for future adventures.

So to recap, if today has taught me anything it’s that I need to get a better husband and was meant to live in a castle as the Disney gods intended.  And that I won the race up the hill.  *clink* *throws glitter*

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