(From our March 2016 trip)

Now I don’t want to get all emo on you but I was pretty excited about today.  Salzburg, more particularly The Sound of Music, played a big part in my childhood.  I loved that movie and like most Aussie kids I knew all of the words to every song and of course I loved Maria, thought Gretl was the cutest thing ever, felt sad when the Baron ignored the kids, hated that slapper The Baronness for trying to sabotage the love of the century and I know you already know this – I so wanted to be Liesl… (except the bit where she falls in love with a total asshat who almost gets her family caught.  Talk about a dobber).

So you can imagine how important the SOM parts of my visit to Salzburg were to me.  In the early trip planning stages I found the tour company I wanted to use for this day because all of the reviews were ~glowing~ about the Sound of Music experience with this tour guide… *yes we know you like good tour guides Lisa, shut up already…*

Anyway, for some reason I dropped the ball on booking this.  Oh the shame… *lifts palm to forehead dramatically…* and by the time I realised the gentleman I wanted was fully booked out.  I tried across 4 dates, was happy to rearrange my schedule, my life, I offered him my body which I thought was a slam dunk, am I right? but no luck.  I even offered husband’s body and still the answer was no.  At this point I thought he was taking the piss (have you seen my husband’s body) but nothing would make him budge.  Clearly he hates me and is a dream shattering barstard of extreme proportions to not let me do his mother forking tour.  My eyes are leaking as I type this.

So back to the drawing board.  I wasn’t particularly happy with my other options for day trips because….you know, the dream shatterer….but I finally settled on Radius Tours.  It was a little different because you meet your tour guide at the train station and you catch a public train to Salzburg.  Our guide was Maxine (another bloody Australian, which is bizarre since we were craving aussies early in the trip and now they are frigging stalking us).  It worked out well though because she sat with us chatting and I felt like we had a special love connection.  I was tempted to stand up and give the rest of the people on the tour the bird while saying “suck eggs bitches” because they were barely going to get a look in now that I had woven my LK Cool magic over the guide but I kept it classy and just monopolised her haha.

The scenery from the train windows was breathtaking countryside, especially once we crossed the Austrian border.  I’ve always wanted to explore Austria and now it’s definitely got to happen in the next few years.  There was even a bit of snow on some of the peaks, so pretty. (excuse the crappy out of the train window photos)

Had a bit of a walk around Salzburg and was completely in love with Getreidegasse – a charming street full of quaint shops and each store has a wrought iron sign that is completely darling.  Lots of little passageways and courtyards leading off from this street.  I loved it.

This was my favourite sign – fanciest Golden Arches ever….

We wandered past Mozart’s birthplace which was full of crowds so we just took a quick pic and moved along.

Then on to Residenzplatz Square which was super lovely but I neeeeeeed to come back here to see it with the Christmas market here.  I think it would be extremely special to see.

It was in this square that the shiznit hit the fan.  There was a small group of people on the tour that would not stop talking while the tour guide was talking.  It really was so bloody annoying and honestly it was cutting into my quality time with her.  Finally the guide had enough and she shut that shit down hard.  She really attacked them and they hurled some abuse at her in response and it went back and forth and was totally uncomfy… *gurllll, someone needs to get you some liquor…* but kinda awesome at the same time.  She absolutely should not have done it, a bit unprofessional but I did also want to fist bump her.  The people were being incredibly rude and annoying.  Husband was squirming hehehe.

By now after all the drama it was lunchtime and the guide suggested eating at St. Peter Stiftskeller.  Now I didn’t know anything about this place beforehand but you can be damn sure I am obsessed and want to marry the place now (well, have an affair with it at least).  It’s in the heart of Salzburg’s Old City and is the oldest restaurant in Europe, dating back to the year 803.  The décor was incredible, I’m so glad we took the guides advice to dine here.

I had been going back and forth on the trip about trying Weiner Snitzel.  Because I didn’t grow up eating veal it’s a meat I’m not completely comfy with and in case you don’t know I have serious mental health issues surrounding meat.  I’m not even close to normal when it comes to what I will and won’t eat and don’t get me started on actually touching raw meat.  It just ain’t happening.  Anyway, I decided that if I was ever going to try Weiner Snitzel this would be the place so I ordered it.  I mean, Bavarians can snitzel the hell out of anything.  First they take a slab of meat and hammer it flat – yes that’s right – they beat their food even after it’s dead.  How badass is that.  Husband of course was super mature and kept mooing and saying I was about to eat baby cow etc.  He’s such a grown up.

Anyway I am very very glad that I ordered it because AHMAHGAD it was absolutely delicious.  Super tender and flavourful.  Ultimately I realised what’s not to love.  I mean it’s like fried chicken – which is already one of the greatest things in the world.  You truly cannot ask for more out of lunch ~and life for that matter~.  To weiner snitzel – I say HELL YES!!!

After lunch we wandered through St. Peter’s Cemetery, it is so beautiful and is one of the oldest cemeteries in Europe.  The gravestones are all rather gothic and the whole thing was captivating.  You may know the cemetery from The Sound of Music movie.

Then it was time to get our furnicular on, which is never a fave thing for husband as he isn’t much of a heights fan.  But it was the only way to get up to the incredible  Hohensalzburg Fortress.  The castle overlooks the stunning old town of Salzburg below and the views were breathtaking.  It was pretty pricey to get into the castle so we did the quick tour which was a little boring but the views were worth every penny.  It would be great to come back when the city is covered in snow.

By now I was starting to twitch because I had Christmas decorations to buy.  Husband groaned but c’mon, he knew who he married.  We found this amazing shop but HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL the prices were insane.  I looked around and dreamed but I just couldn’t bring myself to pay the prices.  I’m having some regrets now that I didn’t but I’ve learned to live with many regrets in life ::wine helps::.

Ate a pretzel as big as my head because of course I did….

And some apple strudel had to be consumed

Then it was time to get my Von Trapp on and we headed over to Mirabell Gardens where Do Re Mi was filmed.  You gotta know I stood on those steps and jumped up and down them, sat for a photo at the fountain and it goes without saying I may have danced and skipped and sung my way through the gardens….all with style and grace whilst trying not to bring a shitload of shame to my family (that last bit could be a lie).

After all of this frolicking it was time to head back to the train and travel home.  I saw some lads bring their 6 packs of beer onto the train and I was low key kicking myself for not organising some “travellers” for the trip home.  Rookie error.

It would’ve been wasted on us anyway because we snoozed all the way home.

This tour went for nearly 10 hours and we were pooped.  When I started the day because I was disappointed about not getting the tour I wanted, I felt like it was going to be like putting lipstick on a pig doing this one but it was actually not too bad.  I will return to Salzburg though and do a tour that is more SOM centred so that I can tick that box.

Since we were exhausted we decided to eat at the restaurant just across the lane from our hotel and I’m so pleased we did.  Bratwurstherzl was a charming no frills restaurant, with the absolute most authentic German food we have encountered.  The choices were simple – a plate of sausages, you just had to choose how many sausages and we got Kasspatzen which is a creamy noodle thing and a salad.  The pretzels were free and the beers we ordered helped wash the whole lot down nicely.  Truly so glad we ate here.  P.S. these photos don’t do the food justice.  It was delicious!

Then it was off to bed because another big day tomorrow and another dream to be fulfilled.

Highs – breathtaking views, knowing that Salzburg is definitely a place to come back to

Lows – rude people on the tour

Weather – High 14 Low 4