(From our March 2016 trip)

After the Full Metal Jacket Craziness of Venice and the crowds yesterday, I wanted to spend this last day anywhere but in the middle of that chaos.  So we hopped on a vaporetto for the 40 minute trip over to Burano, a nearby island that is very well known for it’s beautiful brightly painted fisherman’s houses and it’s incredibly talented lace makers.  It was quite a lovely sunny day, if a little cool at first on the boat but the views as we motored away from Venice were lovely.

Below is a vaporetto.  I know at face value it looks like a harmless boat like floaty thing but don’t be fooled.  This baby had just delivered 250 million tourists to Burano and Murano (where they make the famous glassware), hence the lack of people falling overboard because they were being squeezed out with more gusto than a teenager squeezing a pimple 3 nights before formal.

Our first glimpse of some of the incredible colour to come

Once we arrived we were astounded at the incredible technicolour beauty of the place. Heavens to Betsy it is truly spectacular.  It is seriously impossible to take a bad photo of this place.  It is a rainbow of heavenly delights for your eyeballs.

Craig rocking that cardie I made him get in Florence!!!

With all the houses painted in bright colours each and every street looks like a rainbow coloured unicorn pooped glitter everywhere to make a magical land of sequinned mardi gras goodness.  Truly, this little Venetian island town could be the most colourful place to visit in the world.

Traditionally the two main industries here were fishing and lace making.  No clue when the fishing became a bit hit but it was very successful on the island and the lace making began in the 16th century.  As for the colourful houses – legend has it that years ago, when the fishermen returned from fishing, they couldn’t recognise their homes because of the extreme fog, so they started painting their houses different colours.  Another story said it was to do with thick fog and the fishermen avoiding crashing into the shore by seeing the colours.  Who knows but it’s a cute story.  These days anyone who wants to paint their house apparently needs to apply to the government for approval.

Saw this bizarre leaning tower – that is legit how NOT straight it was.  It boggled my very feeble mind

After a good wander around we decided we were famished so headed to a little square for some pizza goodness

Husband got a calzone as big as his head – alas it was reheated, not very well mind you and nothing spesh so he was a bit sad once he started eating

I however was loving on my pizza – look at that scrummy baby – but ended up having to share because of Mr. Food Not Hot Enough.  I fail to see where that should’ve involved me but it was pointed out that something about sharing food may have been in our wedding vows so I shared ~ insert sad face here~

I really enjoyed our visit here.  I didn’t buy any of the incredible lace although I thought it was stunning  and I couldn’t afford it cause I’m poor.  After we felt we had explored Burano enough and were happy, we hopped onto the next vaporetto and headed back to the land of tourist madness.  By the time we returned to Venice the crowd level had grown to DEFCON 6 level of ridiculous bullcrap.  Thank the baby Jesus there was one other thing I had on my list to do and it meant heading across the Grand Canal on a vaporetto to visit San Giogio Maggiore, a stunning 16th century Basilica with the most holy grasshoppers-tastic views back towards Venice proper.  Breathtaking and speechless.  (I lie, as if I’d ever be speechless).

Awwwww, the lovebirds on the water (seriously if we were any sweeter you’d be vomiting like a kid who just gobbled down a bag of red frogs, 4 musk sticks, 3 mars bars and a bag of fairy floss)

Such a lovely basilica

A pristine and classic Renaissance style

Views back to St. Mark’s Square – stunning

Views over to the Basilica de Santa Maria della Salute

Incredible

My fave shot from this vantage point

It’s really important to me that you take a very close look at the photo below.  See those little ants in St. Mark’s Square – yep they are smelly tourists.  Yuk!!!!  The world had gone mad!

I’m so in love with the way we spent our last day in Venice – completely off the main island bahahahaha.  I was feeling very ‘over’ all of the crowds and madness.  This was late March, I can’t imagine what this place is like in the summer.  In fact I would rather give birth (out my nostril) than be there to witness that.

Then it was back to our hotel, pack and get ready to catch the vaporetto to the train station for our next adventure.  If I thought our arrival journey was hectic try hitching a ride with suitcases on a Saturday night at 7.30pm over the Easter weekend.  I mean….mother-chuffing madness!!!!  I just couldn’t even look or engage with Husband because I knew he would be throwing me daggers of dick-farting shitballs.  The first vaporetto that arrived was too packed for us to even get on.  This sent Craig into a twitch-fest of spectacular proportions.  Fortunately the uber planner that I am had made sure we left early enough for all disasters to have a plan B, C, D….Z.  We managed to hip and shoulder our way onto the next one and within 20 mins had arrived back at our arrival point – the ever bustling Santa Maria Novella train station.  (I’m glossing over how hectic and stressful this getting on and off situation was but I feel I painted a pretty graphic and disturbing story when we arrived so just reread that and times it by 10,000 and you’ve got an idea).

So I’ll leave the next leg of the journey til the next blog post but in summary:-

Venice – was beautiful and unique and like nothing I’ve ever seen before or will see again.  I mean, cmon a city surrounded by water – spectacularly different.  With that said I struggled with the crowds in the confined space of the narrow streets.  I was also adjusting to not being able to walk out my front door and jump into a cab or some sort of road based vehicle.  I don’t know why but I found it made me a little scratchy that the water made everything take longer and be just that bit more complex.  I’m a little surprised at my thoughts regarding Venice – I thought it would be a real favourite but in the end I’m very glad and grateful I got to visit, I’m also glad and grateful it wasn’t summer and was only for 2.5 days and now my friends I feel confident I won’t need to return anytime soon (that is unless the Venetian government reads this and decides to comp me another trip and lay on the luxury and perhaps grease my palms for a great review because you so know I would prostitute myself in a heartbeat for a free trip.  Venice governement people – I am DEFINITELY FOR SALE!!!!!) hahahaha

Weather – High 14, Low 6

Highlights – beautiful vibrant Burano everything, our beautiful accom

Lowlights – crowds, crowds crowds