Food Porn – it’s a coming!!!

Whenever I go on holiday, but most especially when I go overseas, I become one of those obnoxious douchebags who take photos of the meals we eat.  I always have – probably even before it became super popular. Please don’t judge me hehehe.  I do this for the same reason I take photos of all of our hotel rooms and places we see and things we do.  It’s all part of the journey we are on…..and since The Kelly’s love their food it was just a natural thing to capture that as well.  The photos of the food we ate, like all the other photos I take when away on holiday, make me smile and triggers the memory of the occasion, the city, the company we were with, how I was feeling etc….

So why do people find it so strange to take photos of food?

I’ve wondered this for a while now.  I often see people on social media saying things like “please don’t blow up my newsfeed with pictures of your food” hahaha.  One of my dearest friends even said to me recently “if you start putting photos of food on your blog I’m going to stop reading”.  She lies of course – she won’t stop reading because for some reason she thinks I’m awesome – but it just goes to show that alot of people are food porn haters… and may need a little counselling hehehe.

While some people may find “food-stagramming” completely annoying, many others really enjoy following along with a food journey, especially when it’s through a country they have visited, or wish to visit.  I know I do…

I agree that sometimes people go too far in their quest to capture “their pretentious foodie shot”.  Someone brandishing a mobile phone in a stance more suited to a vampire slayer, with their saggy butt in your face at the neighbouring table, jumping around, head cocked, trying to find the perfect angle then you hear the click-click of the iphone.  I get it – that is crazy annoying when you are trying to enjoy a romantic evening with your bae/boo/barstard partner/otherhalf.

I’m not gonna lie – my family now know that should they dare to put fork to food prior to their meal being immortalised on film – they may receive said fork flung across the table with my face contorting into something that resembles a cross between Cruella Deville and a sweaty Meatloaf singing Bat out of Hell.  Yes a small piece of my soul dies by humiliating myself and my family in the middle of a busy restaurant…..but the horror is fleeting (well for me, maybe not the fam lol) once I see the delicious food porn shot later lol.

Then there are the “captions on insta” that say something like “this is my lime and avocado marinated ostrich medallions with coconut milk and coriander quinoa, served with slow baked paprika and kale chips with hand crumbled feta and heirloom tomato salad”……I get why this stuff can be rage-inducing and annoying and don’t even get me started on the abuse of hashtaggery including #foodporn, #nomnom and my personal favourite #foodgasm.  What the actual FFFFFF hahahaha.  It totally makes some people want to scream and say no no no more, truly I can’t take having to look at another food shot.  I hear ya, truly I do.

I agree that at times photos of food have turned into a kind of sick and twisted beauty contest for people to:-

  • brag about their cooking skills (seriously, if you can read you can cook)
  • confess to being super naughty by eating something they shouldn’t like chips and gravy or a slice of cheesecake but still look like Jen Hawkins (gag me)
  • share calorie content of a snow pea (and instructions on how to vom it up later)
  • saying how badass they are for eating an oyster, offal or god forbid sugar (hardly Olympic medal stuff peeps)

For me….

When I take photos of food it is for purely personal, memory making reasons.  For the same reason I will be writing this blog, the photos of food along with everything else I capture with my camera, will be my journal of our amazing time away celebrating 20 years of marriage.  Husband and I love to cook and entertain but even more so, we love to eat out and try new things.  We love finding great places to eat, pouring over a menu, people watching, meeting the staff, the presentation of the meal, the smells, the tastes, sharing the food – everything about the whole dining experience!!!!  So eating will actually be a huge part of our trip.  It won’t be long before we will be rock paper scissoring over the last bruschetta and flipping a coin over the last slice of divine pizza.  And that will be some of the best memories we will be creating along the way….unlike a picture of a flower or a building, a picture of a meal recalls something smelled, touched, tasted and ultimately digested and enjoyed.  How great is that?

I also do plan on eating 4 times my bodyweight in pizza on this trip so it will be fun for you guys and gals to watch my transformation into the Michelin Man day by day by seeing how truly gluttonous I can be when choosing food (I so do not understand nor care about portion control and calorie content when on holidays haha).  I’ll also be stepping up my Prosecco game like I’m an Olympian drinker.  (which apparently I am….so you know….gotta keep myself in tip top form….or something.)

P.S. Don’t expect some artistic photographic vision of each plate…complete with inspiring caption.  Don’t get me wrong, I would love to capture incredible art and have all you sexy barstards comment “This looks awesome, the food looks delish, you two are so cute, I’m so jealous, etc. etc.”.  That’s when I would know I’ve officially become the greatest woman on the entire planet of course.  But it’s really just going to be quickly captured grainy snaps with zero creativity included – but packed full of memories of yumminess and hopefully good times!!!!!

So finally… *just to make you vommy in your mouth a little* ….

Here are some examples of “food memories” from past trips – things that mean so much to us and that will spark off a million stories and laughs and “do you remembers”….

1. Fave food photo ever.  This was from our 201o US trip.  We were at Walt Disney World at the Teppan Edo Teppanaki Restaurant.  Fraser was a super fussy eater when he was little and this day in this restaurant changed his eating FOREVER!!!!.  He had prawns and noodles and mushrooms for the first time and after this meal he was more open to trying new foods.  It was a miraculous change in him and now he is so incredible at trying new things.  Food memories at their best right here…

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2. This is my fave meal in the whole world.  Yep, it’s true.  It’s the Bourbon Street Mahi Mahi served at Bubba Gumps in Times Square, New York City.  I’ve eaten this meal at this restaurant 4 times now.  I’m obsessed hahaha.  This would be my “death row” meal hands down…

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3. Eating pizza at Yankee Stadium watching the baseball…..it doesn’t get better than this…

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4. Eating freshly made crepes at a little fruit and vege food market in Paris….yum

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5. Chowing down on comfort food trying to warm up in a traditional pub in Dublin…

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6. The girls doing a traditional “high tea” in The Orangery at Kensington Palace in London – this was such a special day for the ladies…

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7. Frozen Maple Syrup in -20 degree temps in Quebec City in Canada – sooooo yummy, but so cold hehe

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8. Drinking pints of Guiness on the top floor at the Guiness Factory in Dublin….have never been a fan until they taught us how to drink it properly.  This was such a fun day…

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9. The family trying Haggis for the first time in Edinburgh, Scotland.  It actually wasn’t too bad lol – this was a fab restaurant and we really had a wonderful evening here

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10. Our kids would never eat fish which drove me crazy but when we were in London they developed quite the taste for fish and chips and the rest is history…

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11. Craig eating something I can’t quite remember in Paris.  What I do remember was this restaurant was something like 150 yrs old and he loved his meal so much and that we had the most fabulous day exploring Montmatre together…

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12. Incredible Mexican restaurant in San Francisco where they made the guacamole at your table for you.  I can still remember the amazing fresh smells and how delicious it was…

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13. First meal of our first overseas trip….EVER!!!  We were in Hollywood at the Disney Soda Fountain.  Fraser ordered a toasted sandwich but didn’t like that the cheese was “orange” so wouldn’t eat it so in the end he ate a bowl of potato chips for dinner.  Parenting award goes to us for that one hahahaha

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14. Best pizza in NYC….at Grimaldi’s underneath the Brooklyn Bridge.  So fresh and delicious.  Hoping to top this awesomeness with the pizzas in Italy

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15. In Paris, getting super tired of trying to read and understand French menus so near the end of our stay we went to the Hard Rock Cafe for some good old fashioned crap food that was familiar and we couldn’t have been happier hahaha

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16. Fraser’s 9th birthday dinner in Dublin at a Thai Restaurant (of course lol).  He chose every dish for the family to share and he was so proud of himself.  He made some awesome choices I have to say and we all enjoyed the meal so much.  The staff were so sweet and brought him out this little cake and they all stood around him and sang happy birthday.  Everything about remembering this evening makes me smile…

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17. Pigging out on macaroons we purchased at a little street market in Paris…

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18. And finally, arguably our favourite meal we have ever shared on an overseas trip.  We were at Les Halles in New York City in the Wall Street area.  This restaurant is owned by Anthony Bourdain who has an amazing cooking show that we all love watching.  We truly had the most fun lunch ever here.  The food was incredible and we laughed and chatted and relaxed and genuinely had the most amazing time as a family.  I know we all remember this meal very fondly….

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So…..

In case you haven’t guessed – food plays a big part in any Kelly trip so this upcoming adventure will be no different.  And actually it may even be more food based than any previous trips.  If you don’t like food and eating and drinking….my apologies in advance lol.  If you do like these things – welcome to the adventure.

OMG…..am I about to become a FOOD PORN STAR?????  You bet your arse I am!!!!!!!

13 more sleeps…..yikes!!!!!!!

Love love xoxo

 

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