I think we’ve been going out long enough now to share this with you….

I, Lisa Kelly, find packing suitcases to be an almost orgasmic experience.  I’m so tired and overworked at the moment trying to get everything finished before we go away but there are two things that can still get me excited….. PACKING and photos of Channing Tatum’s naked chest of course.

Not to brag or toot my own horn but my packing skill level = EXPERT!!!!!

This wasn’t always the case but once you start doing trips with 2 kids and a toddler/husband you learn a few things very quickly, here’s my top tips:-

1. Everything you DON’T pack will become SH!TTING VITAL once you land (and it will somehow be your fault no matter what)
2. Every single thing leaks….but this, my friends is why the Universe invented Ziplock Bags (the new crack)
3. You may need a wine or 5…*before breakfast*… daily
4. If the medicine bag you packed couldn’t medicate an entire African Village for a year you are stuffed
5. Snacks fix almost everything so you better have a supply the size of Kim Kardashian’s butt to remain sane (remember noone wants to see your family member throwing a tantrum in the aisle of the plane because they are hangry)
6. did I mention alcohol…..#passthebubbles

The TOP TWO TIPS for reaching Legendary Packing Status are:-

– Have a fantasmic over the top packing list with everything you could ever possibly need for the rest of your life, and

– Packing cubes and ziplocks (holy mother of pearl these things have changed my life)

OK so I’m paraphrasing a tad, but I’m sure you get the drift.  My packing list is 3 pages long  (double columns) and includes everything from the obvious clothes, shoes, basic toiletries, spanx…..right through to digital thermometers, backscratchers, a do-it-yourself tattoo kit and some sex change medication (just incase – and more spanx).  You can never be too prepared in my opinion.  I clearly shouldn’t be left alone during daylight hours….the packing list grows and grows once my multiple personalities start bouncing around “must have” ideas.  I’m exaggerating a little (nope… never done that… not at all even slightly….) but you get the gist.

I’m not one of those people that says “hey, if I need it I’ll just buy it over there”.  I think that is RIDICULOUS  AND A COMPLETE BASTARD WASTE OF VALUABLE TIME!!!!  I kinda hate people that say that.  It’s madness I tell you.   Add to that my insane need to have every piece of clothing I own with me so that I can mood dress depending on which of my personalties shows up that day — it’s alot to cram into a suitcase or two and that is where my MAGICAL MYSTICAL AWESOMENESS comes in ….and packing cubes…obviously!!!!

Even though husband has witnessed my “off the charts” skills many times at fitting a houseful of crap into a few piddly suitcases…..each and every time he stands there insisting it can’t be done.

Every.single.time.!!!!

I of course see that as a challenge that makes me A. want to stab him and B. jam every  damn thing into that suitcase (including his insane shops like a girl purchases) and I have to say each time the last zip does up I expect a song to be written in my honour, a standing ovation and a phone call from the Queen.  It’s just that impressive  “clink”.

The thing that ultimately stopped the world and stepped up my packing game to legendary status was Packing Cubes.  If you haven’t already experienced the joy get on it people.  They come in all shapes and sizes, keep everything in it’s place, wrinkle free and most impressive of all……tidy!!!!!  I kind of don’t like things to be “loose” in my suitcase.  I like everything to be wrapped up like a cute little present, each packing cube colour co-ordinated for each person.  It’s quite something to behold.  I’m a little turned on just typing this out hehehe #packingcubesarethenew50shadeshotness.

For everything else – with even the slightest potential to spill…..ziplocks.  I have every shape and size and husband has at times implied he feels I need a ziplock intervention.  I bastard well think they are MAGIC!!!!  They are little see-through baggies of goodness and have a million uses.  I puffy heart them for sure xoxoxo.

Go and do it ladies….go forth and discover the mystical powers of packing cubes.  You can thank me later in any manner you find appropriate.  I prefer payment via champagne, chocolate and boob squeezes!!!!

I will definitely be sharing pics of the inside of my cases once they are packed.  I want you to feast your eyes on the beauty I have created.  Actually beauty isn’t a strong enough word…..it’s like art really.  I’m like the Leonardo Da Vinci of suitcase packing *not to overstate it* hahaha.  And don’t you worry….husband secretly thinks I’m awesome… *he just hides it well lol….*

I may have somewhat raved on and on about packing a bit too much here but it’s NO LAUGHING MATTER for me.  If you’ve travelled with children and toddler/husbands you know I’m on point with this.  Right about now you may be thinking “ummm she’s batshit crazy”.  And you’d be kinda right, I’m totes mad in the head with my insane love for packing but hey – there are worse ways to spend my time (as she pours more bubbles) lol.

AWESOME PACKING BITCH is one of my main super powers….that and champagne consumption obviously.

Btw….I’m a little stunned at how many people have been reading this little ol blog so far.  The visitor stats are off the chain.  You sexy legends clearly don’t have enough to do with your lives or are enjoying reading along…..who knew!!!!  You obviously have zero taste and I bloody love you for it.

Until next time my loves xoxoxo