A Slacktastic Update from the desk of Luscious Lisa

Okay folks, you put your trust in me, you invested time and energy into the hype leading up to our trip, you began the journey with us, jumping in front of the computer each day for the latest update from our “Kellysontour Love Fest” – with chips, chocolate and alcohol at the ready……and an excited heart (yep, that’s a stretch) and I have let you down by not finishing the whole trip.

Where the efffff lordy have I been you ask????

Well apparently if you take time off and you run your own business and have teenage previous womb dwellers….there are one or two teeny little things to catch up on when you get back.  And then crap-o-licious life gets in the way.  And winter arrives and well I needed to concentrate on putting on my “winter coat” aka 20kg of padding to keep me warm.  And let me tell you, I take winter weight gain seriously people!  I’m like the blue ribbon, world class, top drawer Queen of this.  So to finish writing about the trip on the blog would’ve required taking my hand out of the chip bag and putting the champagne glass down and well my friends – I like ya’s but I don’t wanna date ya – if you know what I mean.

But……it’s been brought to my attention that it’s time to shed the Cadbury layers, detox the liver a little (I’m totally lying) and get my fingers dancing across the keyboards again.  I highly doubt anyone is still ready to tag along and finish the journey with me but that’s okay bitches….I want to finish the trip updates for myself so I can look back in my old age and remember what a fantastic journey it was.  Of course I won’t live to an old age with my functioning alcoholic issues but hey, if I’m still here next year it will still be good to look back and reminise about the gag fest that was our 20th Wedding Anniversary trip.  And let’s not forget I was looking pretty cute on the trip and I’m not looking quite so “streamlined” at the moment so there’s that!!!!

So hopefully you still love me and are ready to jump on board The Kelly’s on Tour – belated – Train again!!!!

On another exciting note (and I know your hearts can barely stand all these incredible news flashes from me)……I am planning another holiday!!!!  Yep you heard it here first my little Lisa Lovers – another trip is in the works.  There are only a few almost non-existant hurdles to get over for it to all come to fruition, so miniscule they are barely worth mentioning.

Hurdle 1 – So if I’m laying all cards on the table, bearing my ample chest so to speak – HUSBAND may or may not know I am planning another trip and goshdarnit if I’m being honest (cough cough, gag since that is rare) he probably doesn’t want to visit the countries I’m planning the trip for….anytime soon.  So hush now mum-a-zon friends, don’t tell him.  Pretty soon with my fake late night promises and hypnosis brain washing, he will think it was all his idea.

Hurdle 2 – And pffffft, it’s not a biggie.  There’s just the little pesky issue of absolutely zero funds/cashola/inheritance to pay for said “future overseas trip”.  I see this only as a tiny hiccup in the scheme of life.  So what if the credit card isn’t talking to me, so what if the mortgage is still eye wateringly large and our grandchildren may still be chipping in for monthly payments in 2035, so what if I’m putting my hand down the back of the couch looking for private school fee money (lying – you so know I mean vodka money).

SO WHAT!!!!!!!!

I figure if I plan the trip the universe will give me the money.  Somehow.  Because as we all know I’m adorable and deserve to be spoilt!!!!  Who knows – I may find my second husband aka sugar daddy between now and then.  I may be discovered on social media as the next hot thing in singing/acting/taking good selfies and make millions or maybe, just maybe one of my clients will spend a lazy 30k on their newborn photos.  Hey, don’t laugh – it could happen.  Let’s not forget that Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively are just about to pop out their second kid and I mean seriously, who else they gonna call for photos????  Not that hack, Annie Liebowitz.  They be calling the famous baby whisperer, Lisa Kelly Photography, without a doubt!!!!!!

So, I’m back bitches……back on the blog, back with updates, back with awesomeness.  Well hmmmm, I’m back-ish.  I may have overstated the fact that I’m back.  I’m back in spirit, and hopefully I’m back with blog updates.  I won’t promise but I am back to tell you all I love you so much, truly I do.  And to tell you that life is short, so very short and you never know what’s around the corner so eat up, drink up, love up and most importantly – keep reading my BLOG!!!!!  Hehehehe

 

Love ya’s xoxoxoxo

Lisa

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