This morning we headed to the main Rome train station to catch the first train of the trip. Hoping this wasn’t going to be too complicated (esp with heavy bags) but we better suck it up and be the Super Heroes (I’m Wonder Woman obvs and he’s, umm, he’s, umm… oh who am I kidding…lol) I know we can be and get used to it, lots more trains to catch on this trip.  The station was a bustling crazy hive of activity and since our hotel had warned about this being ripe pickings for the pickpockets of the world we tried to A. look like we knew what we were doing aka not look like deers in headlights trying to work out what’s what and B. keep our hands on our valuables – all while wheeling what are increasingly becoming the heaviest bags in the universe.  My biceps are starting to rival Hulk Hogan’s at this point and since we have similar hair I truly expect to start being asked for autographs any day now.

The super cool thing about the train station was they don’t announce what platform you are leaving from until 10 minutes before the train arrives/leaves so once that Platform number goes up you’ve got to sprint like you are in the Olympics 100m final with the occasional hurdle (suitcases, prams, short people).  People are jockeying for pole position like a horse in the Melbourne Cup and god forbid you should fall over or drop something, you’d be trampled – although it wouldn’t be a bad way to get a flatter stomach or smaller boobs.  If husband had’ve fallen or lost his way I would’ve waved and said “nice knowing ya, it’s been a good ride while it lasted”.  I would not have gone back. (don’t let anyone tell you different…the 10 min platform announcement is pure GENIUS GOLD, whoever invented it deserves a medal with a very big pin- to jab them through the heart).

Ultimately I’m not sure why we were running….we had allocated seats in first class for goodness sake, but I guess we just got caught up in the fun and games …hysteria… and a competitive queen like myself does  like to win so there’s that.  It was a bit intense getting that heavy luggage on the train – I believe husband may have dislocated a shoulder (but I was too busy checking I hadn’t smeared my lipstick in the hoopla to actually take notice) but finally we fell into our lovely comfy seats in the very nice carriage just as the train pulled away from the station.  It was actually a lovely smooth ride and I managed to do a bit of blog writing while on there.

We arrived in Florence in about 1hr 30min, jumped into a cab and arrived at our hotel feeling calm and relaxed.  That was to be a shortlived twatting calm before the storm….

The guy at reception said “Mrs. Kelly you are without doubt the most beautiful glorious woman I have ever laid eyes on…but…we aren’t expecting you until tomorrow”.

Ummmm no sirreee douche bag…. so I showed Lord Voldemort my paperwork which clearly stated my dates etc – he agreed I was right he was wrong (well that’s what I heard in my head – in amongst the roaring of all of my multiple personalities beginning to lose their shit).  BUT…there had apparently been some booking glitch and they couldn’t accommodate us until tomorrow.  Now as you all know I’m not one for confrontation, in fact I do everything and anything to avoid it but if someone upsets my children, kicks a puppy or if I think I’m going to be stranded in a strange city in a foreign country with nowhere to rest my weary, yet perfectly adorable head – you better believe I’m gonna “unleash the beast”!!!!!  I think husband sensed a volcanic eruption to rival the burying of Pompeii coming up so he stepped in to sweetly sort things out (that’s the good thing about us, when one is losing their grip on social politeness and sanity *and a possible jail stint is imminent* the other remains calm and gets shiz done).  The hotel booked us into an even nicer hotel around the corner, had the porter carry our bags there and we were swiftly removed for fear that the crazy Aussie lady with the red flames coming out of her eyeballs would cause serious bodily harm to someone.  In the end it was all very smooth and painless but it had shaken me a little so it was indeed time to feed and water me.  I won’t lie, I was feeling a bit battered and teary after this little upset so needed some comfort in the form of food and drink so after many days of pasta and pizza we did the unthinkable and went to Hard Rock Café.  I know, I know….WTH….you’ve just arrived in Florence and you are going to Hard Rock…..yes I’m ashamed no I’m not to say that was indeed necessary to restore my sweet self….big beers and chicken fajitas were as predicted soothing to my fragile soul lol….

After a little down time and a full tummy I was ready to face the world again and begin exploring the beautiful Firenze.  The architecture here is truly stunning.  Very different from Rome, and absolutely beautiful.  I loved wandering around all the shopping streets and then the tiny side streets.  I was surprised how easy it was to navigate and get our bearings here.  A very walkable city indeed.  Rounding a corner and seeing The Duomo for the first time – wow!!!!  Such unusual and spectacular architecture.

We wandered down to the Arno River to check out the Ponte Vecchio bridge which was so great to finally see and wander across.  I’m very glad that they have changed the shops on there into gold merchants/jewellery shops instead of the old time butchers that were originally there.  I cannot begin to imagine how much it would’ve smelt back then, especially with no refrigeration and them chucking the discarded meat and guts into the river…..ssssshudder!!!

We really just spent the afternoon wandering around enjoying this gorgeous city.  We had a drink in a cool Italian restaurant that had a record store and it’s own DJ which was kind of random but awesome.  Then we went to a pizza place for dinner that I had stumbled across on Trip Advisor that had hundreds of reviews claiming the best pizza ever and since you are all starting to understand my lusty love of pizza of course we had to try it.  The restaurant wasn’t anything much to look at but I have to say we got the giggles about one piece of their décor.  Right in the middle of the restaurant just above the tables was a clothes line with washing hanging on it.  At first we thought it was a bit of a joke that we were missing but upon closer inspection we realised it was truly covered with everyday bras, undies and clothing.  I guess the heat from the pizza oven dries things quickly but ummmm really????  In the restaurant????  Me thinks not!!!!  The good news is the pizza was indeed delicious and as this was day 5 in a row of pizza for me….I feel I am becoming quite the expert.  In fact I feel like I could almost be considered grand master of pizza cuisine *I am developing quite the pizza belly to prove it*.

After dinner we pretty much just rolled back to our hotel room for some well needed sleep.  But wait…..dum dum dum dum…..there is something we need to do first.   No it’s not some mummy and daddy alone time – it’s bloody washing!!!!!!!

If you have every travelled for even a split second, chances are you’ve found yourself filling up the bathroom sink in your room to wash some socks, jocks and a few t-shirts.  As any experienced traveller will tell you – this is the easy part.  The difficult part is getting the mofo-ing stuff dry in the confines of said room.

I should probs warn you now that I may actually be about to hand out some actual helpful travel advice.  This will probably confuse regular readers *don’t worry it’s just a small glitch in regular programming, I’ll be back to useless rambling shortly*.

After you’ve washed your smalls (or in my case ‘bigs”) in the sink using equal parts soap/shampoo and swear words that would make a truck driver blush, squeeze as much water out of them as you can then hand them on to husband who has contributed nothing to the trip so far but now his muscle power will hopefully come in handy for some serious twisting and wringing to get them as much removed from sopping wet as his “flabby/haven’t been used for anything energetic or useful in years” arms can muster.  Your clothes will now be completely out of shape and wrecked so do a little high five – you are now officially an overseas traveller!!

The good news about European hotel rooms is they all have heated towel warmers – score!!!!  Turn that sucker up full bore and make sure to leave your bathroom light on 24/7 too to create extra heat.  These things are absolute GOLD for getting clothes dry so cram them with as many socks and jocks as you can.  Then for the larger things use every surface area you can find to hang them.  I like coathangers/towel rails/ window sills/ironing boards turned upside down, lamps – you name it and you’ll find dripping wet clothes draped on them (and probably ruining permanently things in the hotel room but eeeehhhhhh, who caress at this point lol).  You can always resort to a hairdryer for last minute wet patches (ooooh that sounded pervy – wet matches is up there with “moist” on the cringey words scale). Note:- wooden hangers stain light clothing so only hang dark ones on there.

Okay, all this practical advice is exhausting.  I’m going to throw down a few Aperol Spritz’s (I’m starting to pee in bright orange btw) and have a lie down.  Tomorrow we will be back to sweary useless rants. (I know, oozing class as always)

We have a very early start in the morning and need to pack and check into the original hotel all by 7am…..arghhhhhh.

Nite nite friends….

xoxo

Highs – Florence overall – just stunning

Lows – Hotel room drama (insert sad face here lol)

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