Well you lucky bunch of blog reading legends – I’m about to head off on another GRAND ADVENTURE….well it would’ve been grand but husband insists on coming so I guess it will just be a MEDIOCRE ADVENTURE!!!  But hey I’m sure he will come in handy for wheeling suitcases on cobblestones and fetching me drinks so I guess he can come.  Grandma arrives tomorrow to supervise our golddiggers….I mean our gorgeous children, and we are pretty much ready to head off on Saturday!

(I’ll be drinking tequila shots while writing this tonight – because – I’m on holidays bitches!!! (by tequila shots I mean glasses of champagne obvs)

So what’s the plan you ask?  Welllll……basically it’s just a lazy 5 weeks, 7 countries, 16 cities, several planes and a shit-ton of trains – exploring lots of Europe.  Of course we thought hey, this isn’t amateur hour, we need to add an extra level of difficulty so we put our heads together and decided to do this trip in freezing temps, lots of rain and peak Christmas crowds.  A person of sound mind would not……!!!

When we originally thought about this trip we decided to combine my love for Christmas with his love of pork knuckle and beer and then mash it up with both of our love of freezing cold weather and so….

The Kelly’s Wintery Foodie Christmasy Boozy European Trip was born.

*wow that’s a damn mouthful*

So yeah, freezing temps, peak rates for every damn thing #visacardcrying and Christmas crowds – hold please while I call my therapist hahaha.  It’s going to be quite a ride.

Basic Deets:-

• Amsterdam – 3 days
• Brussels – 2 days
• Bruges – 1 day
• Iceland – 5 days
• Berlin – 5 days
• Prague – 3 days
• Nuremberg – 2 days
• Bamberg – 1 day
• Rothenburg – 1 day
• Salzburg and surrounds – 3 days
• Vienna – 2 days
• Budapest – 3 days

Now guys, not to toot my own horn (F…ing beep beep) but I plan a bloody good holiday and this one is shaping up ~on paper anyway~ to be a cracker!!!  Alot of hours of reading, blood, sweat and tears went into the final product.  Everything is going to be sensational and amazing but there are definitely a few particular highlights:-

Christmas Markets – this is a bucket list thing for me.  Going to the famous German Christmas Markets has been something I have dreamed of for years and years.  And to be able to experience them in Austria, Hungary and Czech Republic as well is beyond my wildest Christmas dreams.

I mean c’mon…..the lights, the decorations, I get to drink my bodyweight in gluhwein (oh wait, I’m fat, that’s alot of mulled wine, I could die, pffft let’s roll the dice), Christmas carols, food and then there is the absolute prize my friends.  This will be a defining marriage moment……How much does Husband love me?  Does he love me 3 Christmas markets?  How about 6 Christmas markets? Does he love me 10 Christmas markets????  How many Christmas markets do you think I can drag husband to before he starts to cry and rock in the corner???  Place your bets people, place your bets!!!  Honestly, isn’t that what Christmas is all about, your families tears???  Well that. And Alcohol.  Obviously!

Iceland – I mean, this place is like being on another planet.  It is immensely different from anywhere we have ever been and I cannot wait. Honestly it is such a mysterious and mind blowing landscape I think it will be one of the most wonderful things we ever do.  I’m a little teeny bit scared though, not gonna lie, comfort zones will be left, glaciers are apparently going to be hiked and I think I may die but hey, if I die I die.  At least it will be in a magnificent place seeing incredible things.

Germany – we have only spent 4 days in Germany previously and instantly fell in love and knew we wanted more more more so this trip actually was created around wanting to explore this country a little more.  I mean, I love war history, I love medieval towns, incredible beer, hearty food and men in shorts and braces……so essentially this is my spirit country!

Hallstatt – so over 5 years ago I stumbled across this stunning Alpine village in photos.  It’s a few hours from Salzburg and I have dreamed of visiting here just because it is so goddamn pretty!!!  I won’t be lucky enough to see it snow covered like this photo but I have no doubt it will be a bucket list moment.

Belgium – this one is husband’s pick.  He said “I like mussels, I like beer, let’s go to Belgium”.  He’s a real Harvard graduate my guy.  And lord help me but I live to make him happy bahahaha, no I don’t but on this occasion I wanted to go to Brussels and Bruges too so I let him think it was a win.

Itinerary

Well it’s a bloody marvellous masterpiece.  You say itinerary….I say Best.Selling.Novel since it is 17 pages long.  I have planned every day within an inch of it’s life.  I refuse to apologise so fight me!!!  This is something many friends tease me about all the time but here’s the thing.  I want to wring every moment of amazingness from all of the places we visit so I research like a goddman obsessed goddess to know what there is to see and do.  I then plan each day to fit in all of this gorgeousness.  I also research a bazillion places to eat and drink in each city (okay probably research this the MOST!!!) and make my own personal maps for each city with my picks.  Then when we are on the ground I am more than happy to change and adapt everything to fit in with our mood.  The rule is if it’s paid for it must be done….but otherwise it can all be thrown out and we can just find a cool bar and eat and drink the day away if that’s what we feel like.  I’m so much more flexible than people think.  Pats self on back – awards self with bubbles!!!

So with all of that, some final thoughts:-

• It’s all going to be pretty great. There will be lots of photos taken – and yes we will be using filters (we aren’t bloody barbarians).
• It’s in my Life By-laws that I must eat “all the sausages and drink all the booze” so be prepared to be bombarded with photos to make your mouth water and your liver ache!
• I’m positive we can handle whatever winter in Europe throws at us….she wasn’t positive at all.
• I love that I have extended the “no shaving legs because I need extra warmth” weather. I’m a bloody genius!
• Christmas decorations will be purchased with no limit – he knew who he married!
• The blog posts will be full of real and imagined swears – I like to call them sentence enhancers
• People believe anything they read on the interwebs – so I won’t let the truth get in the way of a good story
• I may now be ‘compression socks old’ for flights…..shudder
• Husband says this is the last trip for a while. So that was a fun marriage
• I may cry at some of the incredible sights we see (shhh, I know, apparently I have emotions, don’t tell anyone)

So I think it’s going to be an epic trip and I really hope you glorious people will follow along.  I’m going to try my absolute best to write updates as we go along.  If you are keen to stay tuned there are a few ways:-

Go down to the bottom of this blog post, leave a comment and click the “notify me of new posts via email” box.  Or go over to our Facebook page, The Kellys on Tour and like the page and follow along there.

And finally…..if you haven’t found any of the above funny well then I’m afraid you are probably a dick and we can’t be friends haha.  #offwiththeirhead

Annnnyyyyywaaaayyyyy – in the words of that famous lady, Lisa Kelly……hold onto your vagina’s bitches, here we go!!!!

(all images in this post were gratefully borrowed from the internet – thanks Mr. Google)